dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
sex in a hospital.. check
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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