So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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