you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We need to get me chipped asap
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize