You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
