Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
