But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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