walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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