I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
