Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
