Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
