he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize