Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
