Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
cat food counts as protein by the way
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize