your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
