I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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