i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
