i can't believe i had my finger in that
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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