You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
