Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
