I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
