batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
