All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
