Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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