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• (818): View more from California

  I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long

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• (561): View more from Florida

  how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  When were you at my house?

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I want to go out and have good clean fun.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION

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• (512): View more from Texas

  So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on

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