just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just cropdusted the office
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Randomize
