dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
