I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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