Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i need to put some appletini on your dick
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
