The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
