glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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