does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
