Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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