i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
