No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
