Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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