I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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