dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
