she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize