i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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