Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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