I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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