Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
