all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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