We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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