Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
