return my video game
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize