What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
