I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You made out with two different species that night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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