don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
