Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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