there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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