Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
