I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
