No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize