she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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