Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
