Will you blow on my dice?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
