well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
In America we eat man semen.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
