He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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