I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize