My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
