i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
