Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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