its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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