If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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