Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
